Our profession and friends????

[38ryr88]

Need to get something off my chest. I rarely do side work since I became Diesel certified as I have no time for it anymore. Trying to keep our dealership going in a time when the Diesel Dept. Seems to be the only steady source of income for our shop makes time to help "Friends" harder to come by. I have a friend who I have known since high school who always seems to have car trouble at the worst time. He and his wife do little to maintain their vechicles even after I constantly remind them to do so. I have always tried my best to take care of their cars whenever they need me. I got a call that her CEL came on in her 97 Explorer OHV. I determined that she had cracked heads (shocker). I tried to explain that the job required substantial time but as always, Would replace them for free if they bought the parts. I know money is tight, However, These people are not living in poverty and find the time to take vacations on a regular basis. I took time on my lunch to round up a parts list and prices and called them that evening.....You would think I asked for a kidney donation!!! After an hour of explaining why complete heads are so expensive and why we dont re-use head bolts, I ended up having to find an aftermarket set online and across the country. I was assured that the vechicle was only to be kept for another six months so I figured that it would'nt be so bad afterall. I spent 3 nights in their garage with only hand tools after my regular 10 hour day getting the thing running. I couldnt even get them to buy a Ford valve grind set so the aftermarket one had a cheap paper lower intake gasket like the early 90's models did. I was double bit as an intake valve would'nt seat properly and had to remove the right head and have a valve job done on it, While the wife always complained"Is it done yet)????Ahead two years and 50k miles later,Another CEL for cyl 2 misfire. I explained to him that plug wires werent ment to last 178,000 mile and needed to be changed. When I told him that I would not be able to swap them out for a week or so due to an illness with my Grandfather, I recieve a phone call last night that I was being "Called Out" on how shitty a friend I was and how I always "Back burner" them. I explained in vain how my responsibilites had changed in the last ten months since I started working on Diesels full time instead of gasoline vechicles.I felt like I was being chewed out by my high school principal ! He ended up telling me to kick rocks and dont contact them again. People, Even friends, Dont really understand the pressure and stress that can accompany being a "New" diesel tech. I have never charged one cent for labor or my time in fixing my friend's cars and It came back to bite me big time. We had shared good times together an as you get older,Good friends are harder to come by. It frustrates me that people expect so much of us because of of our knowledge and we get so little in return. Just wondering how some other people handle issues with their "Friends" cars......

[DwayneGorniak]

Reminds me of that saying: People don't always know what they have untill it's gone. However, if they are really good friends maybe time will help them realize what was lost. I have been in a similar situation to this with one of my best friends but not quite to your extent. Over time my friend eventually called me and appoligized and we have been very good friends for a long time now. I now don't do any side work for free at all. But if a friend needs help putting up a fence and supplies the beer, I am always willing to help but I make them very aware that I expect the same in return. What goes around, comes around. Good luck with your friend situation, but don't let it get to ya. If they don't call back and appoligize eventually, they weren't much of a friend at all in the first place and you had just simply tried too hard. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/thumbup.gif

[Jim Warman]

I will help someone build a fence for free.... I will help them paint their house for free..... I will cut their grass for free when they are gone on holidays.... I fix cars for a living....

 

I'm sorry man, it sounds like your friendship has been a one way street (I hope I'm mistaken).... and it sounds odd that people would complain about the price of parts when the labour is so cheap....

 

Life is too short for some of that crap....

 

Look at it this way.... you are in crap, right? You could be in just as much crap if you hadn't done a damned thing - and it would be less work and less time consuming....

[GregH]

Don't forget, there may be extrnal pressures on your friend too.. Not that I am condoning their behavior, of course. But there may be a lot more to the story than you know.

 

Sure, they take vacations regularly. Money may be slightly tighter than before, but they don't seem to be overly dependant on their weekly paycheck. But that is just what you see on the outside. That's the face they wish to show to the world.

 

They may have serious money trouble - credit cards can go a long way to make you appear solvent. Or there may be an illness or death of a family member they are trying to deal with. Children, or parents for that matter, with mental or behavioral problems can sap the energy right out of you - but you'd tend to keep it within the immediate fmily.

 

It doesn't excuse their behavior, but it could explain it.

 

You won't get the full story. Mourn the loss of your friendship. Accept them if they turn around and come back. But don't pine for them. Sure, friends are hard to come by this late in the game. Especially friends with a shared history. But by the sound of it, these people strayed a long time ago, and it took you this long to see it.

[LARRY BRUDZYNSKI]

That's one of 2 things that I won't do.

 

#1 Don't sell friends or family vehicles.

#2 Don't fix friends or family vehicles.

 

I will on the other hand refer them to a few good techs that do side work and leave this between them.

[Mekanik]

That dosen't sound like a good friendship.

I rarely do side work. If I do take a side job, it is usally something small. When I am not at work, I am a father and a husband. Other than waking up early to workout, I don't have much time for anything else. Sometimes I try to help out a friend or relative. I have been taken advantage of and I really hate that. My neighbor kid crashed her car a couple years ago. I told her dad(my neighbor) that I would "help" him fix it. That turned into that fucking car in my driveway for a month while I had to deal with several aftermarket part companies to get parts at a cheap price to help them out and save some money for them. Then I ended up fixing it myself while I was on vacation.

[eastendpowerstroke]

there's a saying I live by

"If you loan somebody $20 and never see them again, It was probably worth it"

I rarely do side work anymore, my time with my kids is worth more to me than the few bucks I might make. I will help a very few friends fix there cars, more specifically my duty's will be largely ceremonial and more for tech and moral support. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/popcorn.gif

[Shlep]

there's a saying I live by

"If you loan somebody $20 and never see them again, It was probably worth it"

Thats a good saying /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/thumbup.gif

[slim]

They don't sound like good friends from what you have described in your short story, but I/we don't have the full history. I think we all have learned a lesson on dealing with friends and side work at some point in the past. I will do small things for friends once in a while or listen to a noise but I usually just try to give good advice. I learned from my Dad that when there is a barter situation someone always gets screwed. My Dad's a home remodeling contractor and when I work on his truck he pays and when he works on my house I pay. Sounds like you did everything you could do and probably more than most people would do, too bad for them that they couldn't see that.

[2006]

That's one of 2 things that I won't do.

 

#1 Don't sell friends or family vehicles.

#2 Don't fix friends or family vehicles.

 

I will on the other hand refer them to a few good techs that do side work and leave this between them.

I totally agree with the above statement. I found this out one day after fixing a coolant leak for a relative. I spent a full day working on this including running around for parts and supplies. I don't recall how much gas I used in the process.

At the end of it all, she wanted the parts invoices and paid for the parts. And for the labour, I got a bag of donuts...in which she ate half of them.

Now when she wants her car fixed, I tell her that I don't keep any tools at home anymore and refer her to another shop.

[Jeff_E]

A couple years ago I spent my Saturday off resealing the intake on my mom's 5.0 Mountaineer and fighting rusted/broken off intake bolts. I charged her my hourly rate for labor (not the door rate) because she insisted on paying me something, and figured I was doing her a huge favor. Big mistake, she complained that it was more expensive than she thought. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. I now refer her elsewhere.

[FordTechCA]

i dont keep tools at home for that reason. i have the few necessary tools to do minor fix it projects around the house and thats it. i finally broke my one and only relative who still continued to ask for help recently, my mother-in-law, her last 2 repairs she needed i didnt have time to do anything more then a brief checkout and a recommendataion on what was needed. when she asked how much i told her i have no idea what stuff costs, i just fix them. she didnt like that answer and took the vehicle to be fixed at another shop. as much as ive grown to hate my work lately the last thing i want to do on my time is fix someone else's problems. time with the wife and kids is more important then extra money

[DieselD]

No way they are true friends if thats the crap they are pulling. they will be back when they figure out how expensive it is to have their junk fixed.

 

I am picky with my side work. I do mostly fabrication stuff at home since thats differnt then the run of the mill stuff I deal with at the shop. I actually find that enjoyable. Plus having a rock crawler that Ive built everyone knows what I do and get alot of offers for side jobs. however I stick to the easy stuff as I dont want a mess of a vehicle in my driveway for weeks on end when Im too busy to come home and work on someone elses vehicle. What also helps is a set price of say 50% of what the going shop rate is in your area. tell them it will be X amount of hours at this rate and take it or leave it. I had people bitch at me for charging so much or not wanting to swap their motor in there expedition, I just laugh and tell them to take it a shop. I dont make a living on charity work

[64nomore]

I think we all have "friends" that only call when their vehicles are need work. I have a cousin that called a couple of weeks ago wanting me to come over and drink, i havent talk to him in years because every time i did i ended up fixing his car for free in promise to work on my house, he never returned his side of the bargin. So I got to his house and drank for a couple hours and then it came, his car wont start and can i look at it, buy the way he said he had no $ though. I looked at it, fuel pump, and said when he puts a new roof vent on my house ill fix it, haven't heard from him yet