Aaron Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. The End Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 That's not a joke!!! That is a dream.... You met Dennis... has a 'Vette and a Viper and a 69 Charger and a 69 Roadrunner.... enjoys a little left handed tobacco whenever he is of a mind... spills better whiskey than I covet... and never has to say "Yes dear" to a statement he doesn't comprehend. Most of Dennis' friends are married. All of these married women feel bad about his perceived lack of companionship... He gets tail nearly prearranged for him. His friends wives feel badly for him and often clean his house, bake treats or do laundry... Mrs. Grampy never forgets his birthday or Xmas or whatever... If I knew THEN what I know NOW............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Yup, I remember. And THAT is the path to be on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Browning Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 That's not a joke!!! That is a dream.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Okay..... What has 3 J's, 6 points, and 1 eye?????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 .... ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 A Treble hook. Piss on it lets go fishing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbriggs Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 A man was watching his wedding video backwards, and says to his buddy "my favorite part is when she takes off the ring, walks down the aisle backwards and fucks off" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted November 5, 2009 Author Share Posted November 5, 2009 ^^^^ Now that's funny right there. Q: What do you get when you play a country music song backwards? A: You get your truck back, your wife back, your house back, your dog back..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbriggs Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 A redneck couple are leaving divorce court, the ex wife starts crying, The ex husband says, "for fuck sakes, stop crying, you're still my sister". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 A redneck couple are leaving divorce court, the ex wife starts crying, The ex husband says, "for fuck sakes, stop crying, you're still my sister". "There's Your Sign" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasgasman Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 A couple months ago, porters were on the service drive trying to slim jim a mustang (driver's side) because the keys were locked in it. I walked by and being a smart a$$, I grabbed the passenger side door handle and the door opened. Everyone started laughing. They've been tring to unlock the car for 15 min. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted November 17, 2009 Author Share Posted November 17, 2009 Porter says to you "Well, DUH - I ALREADY GOT THAT SIDE!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamageINC Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 As painfully unrealistic as this sounds, we had a guy at the dealer who was, although very eager to learn and good with following directions, one of the dumbest people I've ever known. Either way, he was watching me struggle with a rusted EGR pipe once and as a joke I told him that I think I need a Metric Adjustable Wrench. He told me he thinks he has one in his box... and then goes looking for it. 5 minutes later I hear him ask a tech a few bays down if he's got one he can borrow... The same kid was asking my once how underdrive pulleys help for performance and after explaining their function, he says "oh, that's cool!" After thinking about it for a good 30 seconds, he asks me if that same principle applies to superchargers and pulley sizing to generate more or less boost, and I told him "yep, that's dead on." Then he asks if they make any products like that to overdrive your camshafts, to help you get more rpm... ...seriously. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshbuys Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 Then he asks if they make any products like that to overdrive your camshafts, to help you get more rpm... ...seriously. Dave HOLY CRAP!!!! I HOPE YOU TOLD HIM YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted November 20, 2009 Author Share Posted November 20, 2009 It's next to the high speed muffler bearings. If you get to the halogen headlamp fluid, you're in the wrong aisle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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