Alternative Medicine

Aaron · August 26, 2010

So, as you fellers may know, my back is all fucked up in the worst way. Herniation at L4-L5. I get up at 6am to leave at 7:20. It takes me that long to get up and get dressed.

Several people have seen me like this at work, all commenting on you shouldn't be at work, etc, etc. Well, I got bills to pay, so here I am.

Anyways.

I am scheduled for a CONSULTATION for surgery, Sept 20th. So that means, surgery will likely be about JANUARY.

I called a place in OHIO, they could get me in FRIDAY. I called WEDNESDAY. Only catch is the surgery here? It's free. Surgery there... $28,000 if you need to finance it. $20,000 if you pay cash.

Anyways. Feller at work says, you need to go see this Amish woman in Leamington. (There is a large Amish, Mennonite, and Mexican Mennonite population in our area.) She'll get ya fixed up. I think yeah, sure, whatever. So I went today. After maybe FIVE MINUTES, my pain has been reduced at least SEVENTY PERCENT. She rubbed the spot that I always felt was the source of the pain in my lower back for a couple minutes, pushed on a couple different spots, and IMMEDIATELY, I realized... holy shit, I cut all my toenails too short on my right foot. I haven't been able to feel my right leg for almost 16 weeks now.

So I ask her, what do I owe you?

She says. Whatever you think is fair. Like, lady, $10,000 is fair for what you just did, if it lasts.

I had $15 on me. She says Oh, that's MORE than enough. Come see me next week.

Un-fucking-real. I still am not sure if I believe it.

If you think about it, I guess, how many Amish guys you see going to the doctor? I'm sure one of them along the lines has fucked their back up, and needed it fixed... and they have a way to fix it.

I still can't believe it. And wow do my toes ever hurt. Way too short.