Brad Clayton Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I belong to a motorcycle forum and I have been given the honor of having an honorary status as a Canuck and a 'Murican. I have to take an aptitude test though, and I am turning to our brethren in the Great White North for help. Here is a sampling, disregard the kick stand comment: Quote: If you wish to apply for honorary Canadian status OIF and I will administer an aptitude test. There will be questions on Maple syrup, back bacon, kick stand safety switches, and how to properly handle a beaver, followed by a short essay on why the Toronto Maple Leafs are the greatest team in sports and will never ever win another cup. Thanks for any help in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 You need to spend more money on drugs.... them cheap ones are fucking you up way too bad. I haven't eaten back bacon for many years. Maple syrup goes on pancakes and waffles and is sometimes a nice addition to beans in small amounts. Americans like "corn syrup" EWWWWWW!!!! You don't "handle" beavers (the animal). They are rodents and can be carriers of rabies and other diseases. There is no reason to "handle" beavers. You will find a need to destroy their dams..... If you really want to "handle a beaver", you will need to take a shower, shave and apply a deodorant. Dinner and a movie might be a prerequisite... and you may need to develop a personality. The people that own the beaver (NOT an animal) can be fussy. Anyone taking a test like this may not qualify for "beaver handling". Kick stand safety switches is something Americans need... nothing they do is safe... and they seldom understand why. Not sure why this would be included in a Canadianized test... but Yankees are intriguing animals.... The Toronto Maple Leafs play hockey.... More accurately, the Toronto Maple Leafs pretend to play hockey. So what? Many Canadians have come to the realization that paying a "jock" more money than you pay the people running your country is, at the very least odd, and closer to idiotic than anything else. What.... "reality" shows not doing it anymore? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Clayton Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 Quote: You need to spend more money on drugs....them cheap ones are fucking you up way too bad. I knew you wouldn't let me down, oh man I needed that pick me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DwayneGorniak Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I damned near spit my beer all over my computer Jim and my stomach hurts like hell from laughing that hard. Don't forget to shave that beaver as well. The Animal one just gets shot. Be vewy vewy cawefull when huntin beaver. If you trap one and domesticate it, it can reproduce at unwanted rates. So make sure you have proper cages for them little rodents. Oh, and kick stands should also be used when Jim is to drunk to put his feet down at a stop sign with the cops right behind him. I still laugh my ass off at that story. That is one that I will never ever forget Jim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 That was a 1958 Triumph. I miss the fuck out of that old bike... The adjustment for the final drive chain oiler was down inside the oil tank. The bike would vibrate enough that the oiler would open up... and you'd get a "racing stripe" on your jeans. To better understand the scooter, Google "sybian". I miss the fuck out of that old bike.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.