Jim Warman

Rule of thumb.... finish what you are doing or do not start to do it (I have been known to tie survey tape to things lately). Be vewy, vewy afwaid - the fuck up fairy visits people that should know better, too. DAMHIKT!!!!

It isn't real strange to see the first patch meet the new release on day 1ish. At some point they HAVE to say "OK, it's releaseable" and they can pick up the pieces as they fall off.... elsewise we may never see the "new" software as it will always be "in development". Some of you guys have to remember the almost daily software changes with the 6.0. I think we are beginning to dwell too hard on IDS release version numbers while, quite possibly, missing out on the utility of the tool itself. What do I see in the near future? A direct connection 'twixt laptop and truck.... maybe even back to a stand-alone scope quite different from the VMM for those that have the luxury of a scope at all. My very first computer was a CoCo2 (put that in your Google and smoke it). Since then I have seen the "processor" eveolve beyond all imagination. (Remember, I came to North America on a steamship at a time when trans-oceanic flight was only for the very rich). If you can imagine something, it has the possibility of being a reality.

You keep on tellin' yourself that if it makes you feel good...

Ever notice we seem to be getting a lot of "a" updates lately? 74.04 and then a couple of days later 74.04a... Today 74.05..... what next?

Staring at the mirror....

There ya go.... it IS an improvement. I imagine Mrs. Keepthfthfth is paradin' you about town right now.... yes?I never knew you was a "ginger" though... They call us daywalker and tell us we have no soul....

Ah, yes... I forgot the haircut thing....

The bacon lady actually found me... slackernetwork.com has some unique stuff - kinda like break.com but different..... I may be an asshole, but I still don't need prep H. I heard that it was good for hair loss. No - it wont make new hair grow but it shrinks your head to fit the hair you have. Speaking of vids... go to YouTube and search "thanks smokey". You might want to be sure the young fella is out of the room because it puts a different spin on "animal lover". Watch it to the end and tell me you didn't find it amusing... and does the police woman on the left remind you of someone?

Looks the same? How about you let US be the judge of that?

A code? Like a BA666:28 ? If you get one of these in the body control module you are to inspect for paint blemishes in the left front fender? (a BA666:29 would be the right front fender - thank God for bitmapped codes). The world is on it's way to being totally fucked and the internet is simply adding speed. Customers will always have queer ideas (no, not Micheal Jackson kinda queer). Many techs will do things to reinforce these queer ideas - and they'll tell two friends and they'll tell two friends and they'll...... Besides... you aren't supposed to be looking for "concensus", you are supposed to be looking for a way to sneak your mods past the stupid stealership monkey.

Picture time - and not that old FB crap....

I gotta wonder what you typed into the "search" box to come up with that one, Dwayne.... Is there a cactus in the drivers seat of your truck? Notice I'm being nice and not talking about "toolmongers" and vaseline? Ooops - my bad

Pre trip inspection? Don't you realize how much time it takes to actually walk all the way aroud a truck? Whether it is a "funny" noise ("funny" like in "oh, my" - not like in "ha-ha") or objects or liquids dragging or falling onto the ground, there is one cardinal rule..... if it will still move - drive it. After all, if it was really broken it wouldn't start let alone move - right? It's like that stupid "low tire" message... That really pisses folks off. All they want to do is drive the block and a half to the Kwikee Mart and they see this "low tire" warning on the dash. This damned electronic shit is too complex - you'd think somebody would write a book to explain some of this shit to ya..... anyway, I got this "low tire" thing flashing in my face - now I gotta go to the dealer to find out what it means. Whaddaya mean "low tire" - they're still round!!!! If you ask me, they should get rid of that uselsess shit and make the system so it tells you when the tire is flat. If the rim isn't touching the ground, the car can still move - and we all know what that means. Pre trip inspection? Brad... all you want is for me to find something wrong so you can fix it and make money. Well, buddy, I'm gonna fool you - I ain't gonna look for anything wrong. HA! Take THAT.

Blasphemy!!!!! Just got back from 6.7 school - temp in the high 20's (that's Celcius, ladies) - road the scooter sans jacket both ways.... Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out the truck window.

Instead of pulling the tank on a guess... why not check inlet restiction to see if there's a need? Tee a compound gauge in between the pump and tank... recheck with the pump outlet open if necessary.

Epilog..... With the harness stretched out across the engine compartment, no obvious damage was noted. "Wasted" voltage continued to be on the order of 1.5 volts and wiggle testing the harness made no change. Now, the original wiring was 18 Ga. and the only replacement pigtail was 14 Ga. I settled on using 16 Ga... for no particular reason other than increased current flow capabilities. Time to digress... The AWG charts that I can access show 18 Ga. wire as having a current flow capacity of 2.1 amps. I think that this is for solid conductor wire (a single 18 Ga copper strand) with no insulation in free air. Obviously, improving the cooling of a conductor will improve its currrent carrying capability. So... is my 4 amp load going to overburden that circuit making the readings I got acceptable or at least "expectable"? With 16 Ga wire substituted (except for about 3 inches (75mm) at the PCM connector), "wasted" voltage is now .4 volts - that is to say that the volt drop across the 4 amp load is now .4 volts less than source voltage. Other considerations... I did check for excessive system ripple. But, the concern is intermittent - could I have a temperature sensitive diode in the alternator? I can't find out if this circuit works on voltage divider technology or not. It is duty cycled but there is no indication of designed voltage capabilities nor what voltage would be read at 100% duty cycle.... If it sounds like I'm worried that it will come back again, I am... and, considering everything has been replaced except for two 3 inch pieces of wire and two female connectors....... and I do mean EVERYTHING - some of it TWICE. And an Expedition that doesn't set the expected code when you trip the IFS is still fresh in my mind.... Off to school on Tues... and the weather is nice enough to take the scooter....

The economy car with the $3500 DPF .

Stupid? Undoubtedly.... Fake? Many are.... some started out that way but went horribly wrong - turning something intended as fake to become excrutiatingly real. The original cat lady is a proven fake... The video of Debbie was uploaded by "Cara" and an entertainment agency on the west coast is fielding all of "Cara/Debbies" mail (I watched a news story on the vid.). "Jackass".... always used to be a hot topic with the young'uns at work... People pay money to see this kind of shit without ever realizing all they need to do is look around. But you cannot deny that this is a commentary on society... The internet has allowed us to reach out to so many more people than we ever could imagine through the 50s, 60s and 70s... and even through the 80s. Yet here we are... fake things are often seen a "real" and often turn into something real as the perpetrator becomes the victim. Somebody stuffs a bottle rocket in the crack of his or her ass and lights it... this person has the opportunity to become President of the good ol' USA or Prime Minister of Canada.... "I didn't think THAT was gonna happen". Stupid... fuckin' AAAAAA. And this is the world we have created for us to live in. I watched a man "test" a battery by laying a wrench across the terminals. There was a huge arc... the owner of the wrench came uncunted. When things settled down, I asked the "tester"... "What would you do if the wrench became a 'carrying handle'?". "DUH... I don't think that's gonna happen...". This is the society that you and I deal with daily... Where customers let you spend 6 hours finding something idiotic and tell you "I didn't think that mattered". This is the society where you can't say the "n" word... you cannot talk about minorities at all (newsreels in the 40s made "Nip" and "Kraut" socially acceptable - the 80s made thes unacceptable). But you can insult the piss out of white male heterosexual, married, employed, middle wage earning individuals and get advertising awards for doing it. Sorry for the rant... but more-so I am sorry that I tried to interject a little levity into anyones life. Life is too fucking short to have any fun. I work at a dealership where NO women are hideous... a dealership where physical appearance is of little import... a dealership where we don't stare at anyones chest..... What was that you were saying about stu.... never mind....

While I don't make it quite so often these days, an old tradition whilst camping is to fry up a mess of bacon in my trusty cast iron skillet over a wood fire. There is no set amount but the rule of thumb is that "if some is good and more is better then too much ought to be just about enough". Next come the eggs... they need to be basted (and there is no shortage of stuff to baste them with) and they come out closer to being "deep fried" than "fried". But don't grab your plate yet... we are just getting to the best part... A tasty little confection that I have given the name "farmers toast" - probably a misnomer - oh, well. By this point in time, there should still be a lot of liquid pig left in the skillet... For those retainng some modicum of "healthy eating" ethic, you can use whole grain bread.... Place a slice of bread into the skillet... when the bottom is a golden brown, flip it over and repeat. Keep doing that until the skillet can be placed back in the cupboard. The meal is both a heart attack waiting to happen - and about as close to an orgasm of the taste buds as you can get.

Well. Mike... one day not that terrible long ago, I bought a big Jayzus TV set.... A couple of years after that I bought an even bigger TV set.... After that, it dawned on me that brain sucking, insidious device wasn't worth the effort of going into the other room to turn on (my loving bride disagrees with me on that and loves to have the TV going for pretty much most of the day.....). Now, I spend my time studying history, militaria (is that a word?), home DIY projects, gardening, cooking techniques and recipes and other more esoteric and eclectic subjects on the internet. - including, believe it or not, quantum mechanics. One of the things that does drive me, though, is the effect that the internet has had on society... and, instead of allowing CBC et al to turn my grey matter to useless pulp, I find release and relief in watching people debase themselves in public. How many trips to the hospital begin with "Hey guys - watch this" - all of it captured on digital media to ensure that the rocket scientist involved continues to bathe in embarassment until the evidence is lost in a long string of broken links. How many videos end in "Damn... I didn't think that would happen"... when it is perfectly obvious that THAT was going to happen. The bacon lady video is a parody of a parody... a statement on society. I would have thought that you would admonish me for paying almost a hundred a month for satellite TV. That is where the trash is. The bacon lady? It's a joke, Mike... a joke. It was a video response to another video, also a joke. FWIW... that's dropOut... and I am not seemingly wiser than anything - I just look at the world a little differently than most people. I'm no smarter than anyone else - I just use what I know/what I see/what I read/what I hear differently from everyone else. Somebody once told me that I "walk on my own side of the street". I'd have to agree.

By now, I imagine most of you have seen the e-Harmony cat lady video.... For your viewing pleasure, I present....

Kieth... what I am saying is to see what the shop manual wants you to test and then to test THAT. Case in point - we are at a test step that has us test a circuits ability to supply B+ to a device - Fords manual , in the past, would have us disconnect that devices electrical connector and probe this open circuit for 12 volts. Certainly one might use the shop manual to see what needs to be tested, but to have one of the most inappropriate tests you can imagine be listed as the step..... I don't see that as talking out of both sides of my face. Ditto the practice of testing a ground with an ohmmeter... either one of these practices is sure to have you replace a module for no reason. Let's look at a 2008 SuperDuty - no communication with the ABS module. The symptom chart in 418-00 says some little blueb about fuse and crap and sends us to PPT B. I have no idea who does and who doesn't read the introduction to these tests... Personally, I do.... because the manual mentions "fuse" again. But that's OK, we are working on a diesel and we can test the fuse after we get the wheel house liner out... And we are going to take it out because B1 has us do this - <<<<Test Step Result / Action to Take B1 CHECK THE ABS MODULE VOLTAGE SUPPLY CIRCUITS FOR AN OPEN Ignition OFF. Disconnect: ABS Module C135 . Ignition ON. Measure the voltage between the ABS module C135-32, circuit CBB77 (WH), and C135-2, circuit SBB09 (RD), harness side and ground. Are the voltages greater than 10 volts? Yes GO to B2. No VERIFY the battery junction box (BJB) fuses 9 (40A) and 77 (10A) are OK. If OK, REPAIR the circuit in question. CLEAR the DTCs. REPEAT the network test with the scan tool. >>>> This test step gives some very valuable information... connector number, circuit numbers, wire colours pin numbers - even a graphic representation of the connector itself giving us an idea where the pins are located in the connector. This is way cool until we get to the part where it tells us to stick our head up our ass.... along with the voltmeter we are using incorrectly. Read the service manual and get the info you need... but, for Gods sake, learn what info to disregard while you are doing it. And as long as that test and idiotic test procedures (heavy on the PROCEDURES) like B2 remain in the manual, I will continue to mock the manual. For test B3 (testing the HSCAN circuits by stretching yourself between the DLC and C135) consider this. If you probe HSCAN high and HSCAN low at the DLC, you SHOULD get 60ish ohms, right? What might a tech expect to read on his meter if he probed HSCAN high and HSCAN low at C135 (the ABS connector)? The manual is a very complex thing to read.... we absolutely need to read everything it has to offer, but we cannot let it lead us around by the nose.

Oh God, no!!!! As long as 'they' keep missing these, I'm not lifting cabs

Here is another "one of those" trucks. Previously, it was setting APP codes and got a new APP sensor and a new ETC assembly before I married it. It would lose throttle response when the problem occurred but this is an effect of FMEM and I could get the concern to happen when I drove it. A retail job, I finally (and against my better judgement) overlayed a circuit from the APP to the PCM -sorry, can't remember which particular one - and the truck was sent on it's way. Several months later... it got another new ETC assembly as well as a PCM. Then, they gave it back to me. Driving down the road, it will set a P2112 (throttle plate stuck closed) along with a P2104 and go into FMEM... but never for me. So, I load test the TAC motor circuits to about 4 amps. And my light looks good.... After fruitless exploration of other avenues, I come back to the TAC motor circuits. With my lamp substituting for the TAC motor and B+ and ground applied to pins 51 and 34 of C175E I checked my source = 12.5 volts. Then I check my drop across the lamp = 11.1 volts. (v3) Hmmmm, this is 18 gauge wire and 4 amps should be a walk in the park. Checking volt drop across the conductors (CE426 and CE412) we see, in no particular order, .55ish volts and .75ish volts (v1 and v2). Loading the wires with a lamp didn't show anything obvious.... measuring the resistance of the circuits with an ohmmeter gave a reading of 000.0 ohms. Measuring volt drops revealed a concern. Now it is time to pull out the harness and inspect it to determine the next step. Sorry Kieth... this should have gone into the electrical forum... stercus does indeed accidit.

The no data stream was the big impediment... it feels strange calling this "old technology" after learning how to adjust breaker point dwell and polarize generators.... I remember spending a lot of money on an OTC Monitor 2000E and having the salesweasel tell me that this would be the "last scan tool I would ever need to buy". At that same time, GM featured limited data stream including block learn and integrator (think LTFT and STFT) and Dodge even had ATM (actuator test mode) which was a rudimentary form of output state control. Some of us dinosaurs managed to make the conversion from "simple" to "OMG". Others weren't so lucky... back then, there was no Walmart and thusly, no positions as Walmart Greeters so there was a big influx of truck drivers.... Ohhhhhh, that was nasty. The moral of this whole thread? Keep your fucking eyes open and expect the unexpected. During the mid to late 80s, a Ford pick up with an EFI 5.0 might have a shallow cup fuel filter, a deep cup fuel filter, two fuel filters, three fuel pumps, two fuel pumps... You would learn and prosper.... or you wouldn't.