Jim Warman

THAT is something entirely different, Bill. You have signed up for the class action suit, right?

There is no secret.... you show the customer a can of shit... you show the customer a machine that injects he can of shit into his motor... You promise him stuff but make sure that you say "results can vary". PT Barnum said "there's one born every minute"... he wasn't lying. Some people/companies/processes take advantage of the fact that most people don't understand machines.... Enter the "wallet" flush.... You can stick your cock up somebodies ass without ever having to pull his pants down.... This stuff is all "high profit margin" stuff... makes it attractive to service managers that spent more time in business school than mechanics school... Unfortunately it is the customer that suffers and it is the mechanic that will get the blame....

I've never been paid for being sick.... nor did I expect to... Getting paid for "not working" doesn't sound right....

We had several of those as well.... IIRC, the TSB was in response to these ones.... What we mostly saw was trucks doing 30km/h or so while they were sitting still... not so much erratic as just plain wrong...

Spend some time looking around in the "monkeyhouse" - the diesel stop is by far the best place to ummmmmm create some sport... Most of these guys will drive a broken truck (or wish they could drive their broken truck) for months on end.... first because they would rather throw parts at it themselves rather than trust the "stealership"... or because they are trying to save 17 cents or so on parts costs. If you are having a problem with your truck... each and every poster will recommend the last repair he had done on his truck as the cure... Oh... and don't forget that installing a 203 degree thermostat will make the engine warm up faster.....

Hear????? I thought I felt the house shudder....

I always worry when I read <something> is OK.... no numbers... just "OK"... Shaun... don't mind me... too many times I say "awwwww, 'he' wont fudge stuff....." This is after we have spent a lot of time on something... The oil level is OK..... this can mean the engine has oil in it.... this can mean WTF does engine oil level have to do with a vibration.... What it NEEDS to mean is that the oil level is in the cross hatches... not above.... not below.... What do you feel at 1350 rpm in the service bay? Where have you tried placing the EVA pickups? Does the vibe change if you go from power to float to coastdown? How about mode 6 data?

Greg... the popular resistor is 10K... hence the name "10K mod".... and I'm unsure if it will or wont set a code... But we have to remember that these guys "harpoon" their tanks so they can fill them up to the rim and do it fast... Or zoodad their air filters... Let's not forget the CCV mod.... they modify the crankcase vent so that the fumes vent to atmosphere.... This way they wont have that slimey oil film in their charge air cooler ducts - God forbid... Or disconnect the wastegate in hopes that there is an extra 3 or 4 ounces of boost to be had. To attempt to put some of these guys in perspective.... some of them get concerned with what they have for boost readings... AT PART THROTTLE.

That is the sandwich that will give you a girlish figure..... similar to mine, if you will...

I caught a lift with an old guy driving a red IHC pickup one time.... it seemed like there was about two and a half turns of play in the steering box.... We'd no sooner get up to speed and the whole truck would start to shimmy causing us to slow down again... I was relieved when he said I'll drop you at this gas station... I turn off the main road up here. A lot of these old steering gears were manual (no power assist) and there was a check plug in thw side for lube level... Then came the linkage type power steering... a hydraulic valve at the pitman arm and a hydraulic ram for the assist... yes, there was still a check plug on the steering gear... You could walk into many new car showrooms and see engines with multiple carbs... Now and again we would get a work order requesting a valve adjustment... a lot of engines were still mechanical tappet.... shit.... working on flatheads was still something we did when I got into the trade (how many water pumps does Ford flathead V8 have?)... Bruce... you - me and a jug of Mr. Gibsons finest ( no sparing the horsepower for a meeting like this) would be an evening to remember.... Have you read any of Smokeys articles or books?

I'll give you 5 bees for a quarter.....

You sound surprised!?!?!?! The bottom line is the bottom line.... management pushes for big efficiency... high profits... we need to see that magical return on our investment. We are continually competing with prostitutes.... we are, to the very last man, hell bent on proving that we can all starve as cheaply as the next guy. We are all hell bent on proving that we can outcheap each other.... we are all hell bent on proving that better is not going to happen.... Again, this is one of those complex things that everyone is going to try and address with a simplistic answer... How are we doing it? We say "we need more repeat customers". "We need to stand out from other shops". "We need to make people remember us".... Instead of becoming leaders in the industry.... instead of making our customers aware of false economy..... instead of educating our customer... we will get into a pissing contest with those grossly inferior to us... We are being penalized for being thorough.... we are being penalized for knowing our customer pay the bills.... Grease nipples aren't getting greased.... levels aren't getting checked... and the people making this nightmare come true are the people that will make life miserable for he who does what is "needed" to realize what management wants but doesn't want.... We are being used.... and we are welcoming it....

The last cornbinder I can recall working on would be a 1970something Scout...... The 345 (and this is from memory) had a horrendous main bearing cap bolt torque... I remember this because the wrench slipped and my knuckles announced their contact with something hard under the truck (the motor was inframe). These could be confusing because you would attach the pick up for your timing light to number 8 - FWIW, a timing light is an electronically driven Xenon strobe bulb (modern variants, anyway) that you would connect (via an inductive pick up - again, modern variant... old world was similar but cruder) to a spark plug lead.... Ahhh, the good old days... The 304 and 345 were basically the same engines vis-a-vis bore spacing etc. Ditto the 392 but I don't recall seeing one of those.... The Scout and the Travelall were pretty much niche vehicles. This last cornhusker I worked on..... for some reason I recall a Carter 2 barrel B&B carb. This was a staple in Dodge production for many years... but I still get memory glimpses of the old "bell top" Holley two barrel that we would see on the 272/292 Ford... I vaguely recall a tripower 312 with 3 of these old gems on it... but, I digress. The Scout would have to be, AFAIK, the progenitor for the Bronco Jimmy and Ramcharger... and all they SUVs they begat.... I recall them using the Torqueflite 727 in automatic shift vehicles - not strange since Chrysler also supplied transmissions to Rambler (and then AMC after). Sidebar.... driven by the gratuitous AMC/torqueflite reference... When my loving bride and I tied the knot, I worked for a VW/Audi/Porsche dealer. At that tine, we had just received a low mile luxury car in trade and they allowed us to take this car as transport for our honeymoon.... (this was 1973.... give me a break.... I was earning about $3.00/hr). This luxury car was a 1972 AMC Ambassador... 401 CID and a Torqueflite 904... Ford starter, Prestolite distributor, Delco-Remy alternator.... Since I have firmly hijacked the thread... My FIRST encounter of the cornbinder type would be the Red Diamond.... updraft carbs.... you don't get much simpler than this.... some of this stuff is worth the Google. Oooooh... what you youngsters have missed.... Amusing anecdote.... TOTALLY unrelated.... My Dad had a 59 Pontiac station wagon.... this was not a small car It was a Laurentian (available only in Canada - somewhere between a StratoChief and a Parisienne trim wise) It had the ornage 283 engine (yes, even in the 50s, GM had a "corporate" engine - you might see a blue engine in your Poncho.... but you could just as well see an orange one). The cast iron Powerglide had two fluid pumps.... one at the front driven by the torque converter... another at the back driven by the driveshaft. You could push start this car... But... the interesting feature was the power steering pump. It was attached to the back of the generator (no - not an AC generator... a good old DC generator). Every now and again, the front seal on the PS pump would puke... and flood the commutator/brushes with PS fluid.... this would usually happen in Armpit, Saskatchewan. Google "polarize a generator"... more neat trivia... Wow... did I do that???? FWIW.... IHC would paint their engines red... IIRC, this was very nearly the same shade of red as the old Dodge 318 polymotor. Thanks, Mike.... you made me recall some of marvels of my youth.... and I didn't even get to dwell on some of the erotica and exotica....

What can you do? Print up some Darwin Award certificates, maybe? With a firm grasp on the concept that there is no cure for "stupid"... you (nor I) will ever get an operator to regularly check under the hood (perhaps this might even be "better" than what could happen) to view fluid levels. Unless the owner is the type that will come unglued unless everything is exactly on the <MAX> mark - operating range... what is that? Just yesterday I asked one of our guys if he had checked the oil level in a truck..... "not yet" was the reply... Personally... I find it hard to turn down all of those golden opportunities to embarass the piss outta myself.... I'm falling behind in my web based courses - the ones where they tell you to read your work order and then do a quick visual inspection to make sure the truck is OK to drive? As the alignment guy.... I learned a long time ago to at least walk around the thing and count the tires....

When I first "penned" the question about the size of ones bollocks, I imagined it would remain a rhetorical question.... but, since you have breached that idea... let's explore a couple of ideas... First, I'm sure you will agree that our trade is comprised of those that have a fierce pride in what they do... when we close the hood, it is almost as if the vehicle were, once again, brand spanking new.... no "African American temporary repairs" (Apparently, only Dr Dre will be rewarded for using the "N" bomb... the rest of us will be drawn and quartered). It is also comprised of those practicing a version of the worlds oldest profession... "Hey, sailor... wanna get lucky? I'll do ANYTHING for a buck...". And the hordes trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea... There are a LOT of techs (I can feel it in my heart) that would dearly love to look a customer in the eye and say that their chosen course of action isn't "right"... but they can't because the guy down the street is hungry enough to do anything for a buck.... Right is good... cheap is still going to win. Anyway... this is our industry too.. not just ATRA... not just NADA... not just - shit... there's too many groups to name.. all of them special interest and none of them are US. (FWIW, I used two entities off the top of my head 'just because'... ATRA is Automatic Transmission Rebuilders Assoc. .... NADA is Northern Alberta Dealers Assoc... But the industry is peppered with these special interest groups. What is so FUCKING AMAZING is that none of them represent me and you....). None of them address doing it "right" versus doing it "wrong"... So... with this idea in mind... What about a lobby group? Educate the politicians about those that willfully defeat and delete emissions devices.... Educate the public... their efforts are being squandered by those seeking personal benefit. Do the politicians even embrace or acknowledge emissions 'modifications' as a concern? A lobby group that would seek the ability deny anyone contravening either legisaltion or accepted indusry practice the ability to continue the practice? This is going to be a killer project... in more ways that one.... This is to broad a subject to broach in one little message... but there are right ways to do things... "accepted" ways to do things.... wrong ways to do things and even some wrong things have become "acceptable" simply because we have the 'ability' to do them... I am ostracized... abused.... discounted... and insulted because of my beliefs on many venues.... Gee... life sucks... Until we grab the bull by the horns.... until we force OUR branch of the industry into some form of professionalism.. we will forever be looking over our shoulder... we will forever compromise our RETAIL work... because the "hooker" down the street will steal our work if we don't play HIS game... Look around... load range D tires on a Super Duty? Inappropriate tire repairs and valve stems? What else are we missing and how does it affect your safety, the safety of your customers or the safety of your loved ones? Rushing a job so hard that we miss cracked and broken frames and X-members... missing fasteners... The public is looking to us for guidance (once they can get past what we allow charlatans and thieves to plant in their heads) in logical auto repair and maintenance... in reducing their cost per mile through proper maintenance and timely repairs... meanwhile, we are too fucking busy using both hands to cover our asses from the onslaught of the scam artists we should be putting out of business... Wow... what an off topic fucking rant.... But it remains... we can continue to allow ourselves to be directed and controlled by the unscrupulous, unknowing lunatic fringe in this trade... or we can become the trendsetters... the squeaky clean, law abiding, eco-lovers that the future needs...

Bruno.... at one point in time the bearing on the electric motor machine bullshit test was THE premier fuck you up test for any and all oil additives.. Back when you were but a gleam in your Daddies eye or a (..... no.... chatting about your Mums knickers would be crude...)... I took the Wynns indoctrination course... the one where you are seriously considering selling the stuff for a living... The bearing test... you could make camel piss look like a great lubricant... and it all hinges on how you initiate contact with the bearings. Come up gentle on the contact and let the hydro-dynamic wedge form... you can do a lot of things as long as none of them are sudden enough to break the wedge... If you want to make brand X look bad... don't allow the wedge to form... a little "snort" and you can break the wedge. A little practice with the machine and you can make Copperfield look like a parlour trick. PT Barnum said "There's one born every minute...".... he was talking about suckers... not the lollipop variety.

Yeppers.... I think, if we spent some due diligence, that this statement would be uttered in couched terms on each and every web presence we might visit. Is it time that we, as technicians, addressed the continuing use of these devices? Might we affect the future of the world and/or it's eco-structure? How big are YOUR balls, Mister Technician?

I'm not picking on you.... but we can open some eyes.... I've never opened the hood on a Navistar school bus.... I have absolutley no idea which head plugs can be seen or not seen.... Like your RO story.... the person reading this needs to be able to look through your eyes... without ever being there. The "box" plug you are indicating is likely one covered in some other threads... easily repairable but with small parts that can be unintentionally lost.... perhaps somebody with more patience than I can find the thread with pics.... You mention dye.... and no positive results... Cause for consternation, yes... but - is the oil relatively clean? Is there the chance that the oil is too dirty for the dye to flouresce? When we are faced with our worst nightmares, it is usually better to take a step or two back.... what have we overlooked? ( I recently was extremely embarrassed by a fuse.... convoluted? maybe... but I assumed that the tech had checked the fuses... ASSUMED... shit happens and that is life... I missed it... I did not perform my job.... The bad feeling? I considered fuses... and said "NAH, can't be". But, of course, a fuse will not cause an oil leak... But we still need to consider what is causing YOUR leak... Clean the engine thoroughly... change the oil and filter.... install at least three dye packets in the motor... remove any convolute loom from the high pressure oil lines to prevent delayed indication... This will only be as tough as you make it...

Digging around the website a bit more... I find this .... tee-hee-hee... This - pay close attention to the last point in the ummmmmmmmm propoganda. And this notice the header states "will" and not "can" ... borderline misleading... or flagrant? My God... I wish suicide was legal.... Suicide... did you realize that suicide is a unique crime? You can be jailed for "attempting" suicide... nobody has ever been incarcerated for successfully achieving the act.... I know... you are jealous because the voices are talking to me... and not to you

An interesting point about reverse engineering the software... I don't recall seeing a EULA attached to any of my purchases - but my days of buying "brand spanking new" are long gone.... I came across the mention of this in "the monkey house" and I did post a response there... I can imagine the reception I will get.... I guess "shit" is one of those things that happens more in some lives than others. This could be the next step in anarchy... or we may be approaching Omni Consumer Products intro of the SUX2000. I get the feeling we are seeing an "us" against "them" mentality rising... again.... The bad thing is that we desparately need to achieve a rational, logical even ground. Without this one side or the other will "win" and the world, in general, will suffer. (I'm beginning to wonder if "Capitalism", "nationalism", "Communism". "ismism"... all of these aren';t being replaced by a new "religion"... consumerism. Every dog for himself... but "I" want protection.... If you can figure out my penchant for digression... let me know. Do me a favour... (that's Canajun for "favor").. check with your hotline (I have no doubts they are one and the same as ours... I'm getting paranoid if we both get readings from the same script) re P167F. ... would a really "off the wall" fraud settlement include being forced to buy Ford products for the rest of your life? Modern society is rife with lunacy... A song with it's overwhelming lyric being "she fucking hates me". I like the A&W Mama burger.... but why does it taste BETTER without the pattie? daily videos on break.com (how many trips to the emergency room begin with "Hey guys... watch this"). The world is in a.... I'm not sure if there is a word to describe it... state of flux we have never seen - not in my short life span - what could happen next? Movies like "JackAss" and "Borat" bring out the pessimist in me... Yes... I now have to enter my crawl space and deal with wet insulation... wish me luck

In my internet furbling (I Googled the term and was surprised to see that it IS mentioned on the 'net)... I came across this page on Spartans website... Now... I have no way of verifying beyond the shadow of a doubt right now... but I do plan on asking hotline about P167F (or can Cetane shed some light?)... don't bother looking... it isn't listed in the online PC/ED for 2010MY. I also wonder if Spartan has had their lawyers look at this statement they have boldly made.... detectability of their device is the whole thrust of this article... So... where is the old fuck going with this? Alphonse Capone.... they couldn't get him on murder.... they couldn't get him on racketeering.... they couldn't even get him for supplying alcohol during prohibition. They got him for tax evasion.... The spirit of Spartans device is to afford the owner monetary compensation where monetary compensation may not be warranted. To me... this is fraudulent behaviour.... But, I guess that part will be a matter for the courts to decide, if and when it comes to that. And we all realize that monetary considerations always gather more interest than moral obligations. Eventually, emissions control legislation may not be upheld by what the EPA wants. The manufacturers might well be the impetus that drives some of these mods off our streets...

I think MY absolute best personal fuck up was tighteningn the last bolt pn a 5.4 front cover..... only to discover that uncomfortable thing under the rag I was leaning on was the trigger wheel... which I proceeded to install backwards... Every last one of us feet of clay. My loving bride has collected every "kitchen animal" ever invented... roosters, pigs, geese... name it. In her archives is a fridge magnet with a cow and the inscription "Head in the clouds......... feet in a cow pie".

Tell him to "back away from the toolbox..."!!! First the flexplate is forgotten... but you would expect him to clue in when he got to the converter nuts.... (converter nuts? qu'est que c'est?)... or maybe to look in the starter hole for rags, debris or small mammals before plunging the starter home.... Please tell me this guy gave up and became a plumber.....

Dwayne... I'm not even going to attempt this one... You are developing selective and are only acknowledging about half of what I'm saying... For some reason you have an intense hatred of the very thing that feeds your family - calm down - you are much too young to do this to yourself... I am interested, though... what is it that Ford has "come to accept"? That hot-rodding the VT365 wasn't such a good idea?

I think it was last summer... customer concern was that it was uncomfortable to drive at 140 km/h with the sunroof open... IIRC, somebody actually thought we were going to chase that one...