Jim Warman

OK... So Mamma has kidney stones.... we are going to Edmonchuk and we are going to get these things zapped... we are going to Edmonchuck a day early beacuse they scheduled the procedure for about 7:30 AYEM. Momma didn't think they had a 7:30 AYEM any more. Remember, we have 2 doggies and two kitties at home... I am told arrangements have been made (are you sure you guys are up for this?). Sunday night, we get to the hotel.... I'm not a credit card kinda guy and I pay for the room with my Interact.... and they tack $250 on to the bill in case I decide that, after about a year free of the weed, I will decide to regress... in their dingy, dirty hotel room. Already I ain't happy.... I'm in a city (steerike one!!!!). I had to front an extra $250 because I quit smoking (steerike tooooooo!!!!). FWIW, I got the 250 back the next AM - and NOBODY went to see if I actually fucked up their precious room. If you aren't going to go look (sniff), why fucking bother????? OK... so we head for the hospital.... I leave my loving bride in their capable hands... hey - we ARE talking medical PROFESSIONALS here, right? Not bad... it's a couple of hour procedure, degroggify in the recovery room and fuck off home, darlin'.... You are outta here by lunch..... OOOOOOOOOhhhhh! Yeah, we know your records say your ticker acts a bit funky, but your ticker is acting a bit funky (fuck off and quit distracting uswith details) and we didn't expect that a ticker that acts funky would act funky in front of us. FWIW, this isalotlike telling the dognot to shed on the couch (bad boy - losing hair without being told to). So.... now we are going to stay an extra day.... It is Debbi's friends that are looking after our petting zoo. I don't have friends....I have drinking buddies.... She is doped up and cannot remember what planet we are living on.... let alone the number of her friends..... I phone our son to look after the dogs and he is...... in Edmonton. I phone my best drinking buddy and he is "unhandy"... So...it is noon today before we are sure that Debb will be released.... I'm already pissed at the hotel and spent the night on a strange couch... Debbi has a stent in a bad place....there was a string attached to the stent.... but it "got lost" and they had to make sure the stent was "still there". To make the trip home "a little nicer" they gave a wee bit more demerol (it'll peak in about an hour said the nurse) than normal. But the crowning touch? They couldn't reach the kidney stones.... They are still where they were.... Nothing in our lives has changed other than we lost two days and I bought a 30mm combo wrench.... None of us think that "we" are idiots..... perhaps we aren't the best judges of that....

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Did you know that more money is spent on AIDS research for asshole bandits than is spent on Crohns research for heterosexuals? If !?@#%! would stop doing a lot of the things they are doing... but who am I to judge. I been swappin' spit with the same woman for over 36 years. Yeah, she be gettin' long in the tooth... I ain't no spring chicken either.... But two things come to mind.... We don't swap sex partners more often than we change our underwear..... And we don'tfeel the need to inject ourselves with wierd shit (and shared needles) because we are at "odds with our sexuality". Old fashioned ain't a bad thing to be..... Brad... I think that was "soup" Nazi.....

Bruce.... before you got that far, you would have had to open the bonnet and lean over the front wing.... Perhaps you might have found a spanner or some other tools in the boot, but if it is time for a break down lorry, then it is time for a break down lorry. The gudgeon pin reference is particularly priceless because this is the MAJOR stumbling block for a fucking colonist. However,had you been travelling to your solicitors in your shooting brake, you would have been going to meet him for a hunting trip.... Had it been an estate car, your hunting party might have been smaller, but the estate car would have sufficed to some degree.... Now... if you had a flat tyre...... TYRE ..... it should have been easy. However, an offside flat is preferential because you would be away from the traffic.... A near side flat would have you ever so close to all that traffic whizzing by... Were you a little ofay (a bit of a right poof), you might have said that you were 'avin' an 'arry rag and waitin' for your mate to get a leg up on yer.... but that is nothing less than crude and would upset any homophobes named Jim. While those of us from old Blighty might have some terms that leave you Yanks shakin' yer 'eads... I am never ceased to be amused by Americas constant fauxs pas. THEN and THAN are always amusing.... try to convince a Yank that there is a vast difference between the statement "I would rather have dinner THEN give him a blow job" and "I would rather have dinner THAN give him a blow job". One would expect nothing less from those that would have elevenses at ten (morning coffee or tea break)and wouldn't have the foggiest about high tea. Additionally, the M25 is a ring road around London. It would be odd that anyone in the know would be on the M25 because we all know that the only good thing coming out of London is the road to Yorkshire..... Anyway.... I am back from a trip to the city (Edmonton - not London) and I am about to return to my rightful position.... a burr under Kenny's saddle. Ayup, lads.... ahm a rahght owd git....

Actually, there is NO french spoken in Canada.... The language is 'Quebecois' (be sure you pronounce it kebekwah lest you piss off someone that is MORE equal than us fucking blokes) - kind of a pidgin froggie or perhaps "franglaise". I lived in Montreal in 66-67 (yes, I got to go to Expo 67). You might hear "Checkez mon tire.... j'ai un flat". Perhaps, "Je suis out of gas". But to call this French? Even Charles deGaulle (bold enough to stand on Canadian soil and utter "Vive Quebec libre....") could be hard for one to comprehend. Canada's "recent" history (60s and 70s) is fairly colourful.... Check out what history has to say about Pierre LaPorte, the October Crisis, la Front de Liberation du Quebec. To show you the depths of depravity that Liberalism can stoop to.... If youy were to move to "la Belle Province" and open a store - a store that sold books... and ONLY books written in English, you would not be allowed to have a sign on the front of your store proclaiming "English Book Store". No - by law, your sign must read "Les Livrets en Anglaise". Gosh.... I hope I don't sound bitter.....

Jeff.... I would bet that she has more hair on her balls that you have on yours.... A little more refined is one of our locals... A bumper sticker that reads "Silly boys - trucks are for girls....". I just got back from Edmonton. I was supposed to be back yesterday... Ask me about my trip - I fucking dare you......

OMG.... imagine what might happen in a full bore, ABS active, panic stop situation?

Brad.... the DPF delete in Dwaynes bay is an 08.... and it's going to get gnarly.... This weekend, I set out (in someone elses bay) to install a new stereo in my car (my loving bride calls it 'her' car... but she is also convinced that they keep putting the wrong name on her paycheque). I invested a bunch of time fabbing mounting brackets - and then I found that the wiring was a mangled, prefucked mess.... $400 for a 'used' stereo? No, thank you..... Gnarly is becoming a way of life......

Demographics, particularly the part involving climatology, weighs heavily. "Extremely hot" in the summer (for my personal taste) is 70~75F. 10W30 is the temperate season oil of choice. Even for those that tow occasionally. By the same token, "extremely cold" can be a tough definition.... In Jan/Feb, we can expect some days at -40 or colder. -40 becomes a 'normal' temp rather than an extreme temp... 0W30 is the oil of choice. We used to put 15W40 in 6.0s way back when... even in the summer we could have 'morning romps' with oil this thick.... To qualify some of my statements.... We haven't tried 15W40 lately, even in the wake of all these new injector strategies.... Once you have decided against something, it is hard to "go back". At the same time, again in light of new injector strategies, has Ford reconsidered pilot injection? From memory, back before pilot injection became a problem, the 6.0 would about rip the skin off your face from a standstill. Then, somewhere in the "reflash of the day" frenzy, the 6.0 suddenly developed the inability to pull a sick whore off a pisspot with a greased seat below 2000 rpm.... Ever notice that it is getting tougher to give "small answers" to "small questions"? We are reaching that level of complexity where any one question can spawn a half dozen new questions without ever answering the original....

I'm surprised Dwayne hasn't jumped in here..... Currently, he has an 06 with a DPF delete on it.... Last I saw, he was checking crankcase pressure.... Over to you, Dwayne......

An 8V71? I'm sure some of us recall the story about the guy that had oil dripping out of the air box drains....and cured it by installing pipe plugs????

Yes... it will still tell you if new tech tips have been installed. I really like the download only option. We have 4 VCMs... Dwayne is using one, our other main diesel tech is "supposed" to be using the other but he's being a bit tight about getting a real laptop... The download only option allows me to minimize the reprogramming downtime and work around the shops needs a little better... without incurring the wrath of the the overtimne overlord too badly. I expect the addition of the download manager is going to keep things a little easier for some shops.

A Freightliner ............................... motorhome

Not to be inciteful (but failing miserably), I think it fair to comment that it wasn't the president (Obama or anyone else) that got the auto industry into the shit that it's in.... How much did Wagoner get simply to fade away? What percentage of the MSRP of a midsized automobile went to pay for employee (assembly line) benefits? You are correct, at most levels, the government should not be involved in private business.... But... would you prefer that all these thousands of auto workers become welfare or unemployment recipients? Or is it more appropriate that they remain employed and useful? Do we simply close the doors on assembly plants and suppliers smug in the knowledge that if we do not act properly now, we may join t6hese people in the line at the soup kitchen? One of the major concerns to plague the western world for many years has been the overwhelming desire for government intervention.... except that when they are forced into the game, we bitch about them being there. Thye government - yours - mine - whoevers - can throw all the money in the world at a problem.... But if we don't all stand up and do our part to help, if we are going to leave both the government and these companies just hang without doing our part to turn the economy around, we may just as well flush the toilet now....

Re-use hub seals? Using the 2003 F350 WSM as a guide, R&R ball joint will, eventually lead us to 204-01B Steering Knuckle R&I. Step 8 in installation reads <Install the new main seal onto the axle shaft>.

Many don't realize that even some dealers lack knowl;edge and wisdom.... It doesn't boil down to "our shop versus their shop". It is about charlatans pretending to be techs versus techs that apply their talents and vest time in the acquisition of knowledge. We get into these rants.... "independent shops are shit".... and wee have gotten into these rants "I had a truck that was just at <X Ford> and the work they did was atrocious - missing bolts, stripped fasteners, poor diag...". It all boils down to shitty mechanics pretending to be the same as talented mechanics - AND WE LET THEM!!!! Look at it this way.... even though this is your CAREER, are you willing to invest any of your own personal time in improving it? Do you need to be paid to make yourself better (worth more)? Or - can you wake up one morning and decide that today is the day "I make my career into my CAREER". But.... I am preaching to the choir - any one of us, with little or no effort, could easily misdiagnose a concern. With little or no effort we can avoid purchasing the manuals we need... with little or no effort we can avoid reading those manuals.... with little or no effort we can avoid seeking out and spending money at places like TurboTraining. It isn't hard to be a shitty tech.... and that is the road far too many take.... If you are reading this, you are better than those guys. Being <here> shows your desire to be the best at what you do.... It isn't dealerships against independents.... it is professionals against turds.....

In Alberta (and I am sure Ontario fits the pattern) there is a team of avid (or is that rabid) enforcement officers that couldn't make it as cops - but they have this overwhelming need to have some kind, any kind, of authority over their fellow human beings. Some of these people,I'm sure, couldn't even pass the "mall cop" test. We have a local "peace officer" (kind of like an over-glorified by-law enforcement officer but not good enough to be a real cop)... he is fast making himself unwelcome. I understand that, at one point, they had to take away his summons book as he was a little (shall we say) "zealous". It would be nice if we could reach some consistency in Canada for these things but there are too many stumbling blocks. Here in Alberta, an "imported" vehcile has to go through a fairly rigourous inspection in order to be registered in the province. Once the vehicle is registered,it can turn into the biggest piece of shit in the world... and there is nothing that a tech can do about it....

It doesn't take much of a mark for me to call a unison ring suspect, Aaron... but you really need to reconsider someof the suggestions.... If you don't do it, you have still planted the seed in some other guys mind. If you get a unison ring back one day with a cryptic note "Looks like a drift mark", who will you blame? When people abuse the system, the system bites back... Yes.... Nassar started it - but we are helping perpetuate it... Ford cuts an SLT and we do the leg work for them, finding ways to cut our labour times... and then they once more cut the SLT.... Fcuk me... but aren't we the smart guys? Bottom line.... we desparately need to have a squeaky clean image.... there is a change brewing in this trade... If we are not careful, you and I will be replaced by OASIS Quik Start and a trained monkey. Ford only cares about our retail business as a means to help our store stay afloat and perform warranty repairs. After that, all they really see is the cash flow....

Canada is a province by province deal... Currently, Alberta doesn't have any legislation with teeth.... except for some relativerly vague references in the CVIP inspection manuals (one would hope that corporate citizens are going to be "good" corporate citizens) and equally vague references in the Out Of Province inspection manual that allow me to fail a vehicle with defeated emissions but do not specifically require me to fail these vehicles. Talk about a two edged sword... OK... so we do not have any laws that specifically deal with tampering with emissions control devices. Alberta infrastructure (it has been a long time since I last broached the subject with them) currently has no penalty that I am aware of. "Can I delete a DPF?" will get "No" as an answer. If you ask what the penalty is if you do remove it - you will be told that you can't remove it.... But, even in this day and age, there is no penalty for doiung it and there is no laws specifically prohibiting it. Someone please enlighten me if my info is out-dated. So.... all we can do is look at similar legislation.... Discharging refrigerant to atmosphere being an easy one - or so I thought. I cannot find the document online, but it was circa the time when we saw the switch to R134a. Discharging refrigerant to atmosphere was $500,000 to the shop and $50,000 to the tech. Bear in mind there is a memory thing going on. Any of this would be about impossible to prove in a court of law. So... let's talk about the morality of it all.... For north America, the DPF has become one of the accepted industry standards for diesel exhaust after treatments. "Green" provinces and states will fail a truck on visual inspection if they do net see one of these devices (this would be a truck affected by the regs). With so many people keeping these devices in operating condition, "paying the bill", if you will, would it be morally acceptable for any of us to defeat the device. It won't be long before I have grand children... what will I leave behind as my legacy? Every spring, I see volunteer groups combing the ditches outside of town.... picking up litter from passing motorists.... every year, a new crop grows to replace the old.... A few selfish people have taken it upon themselves to decorate our evironment.... many selfless people dedicate a portion of their time to undoing that. Doctors are bound by laws, as well as practices that are accepted in their chosen profession.... If they fuck up, they will be judged by a panel of their peers... So will we.... If we are to preserve an appearance of professionalism, we need to act professional. Nothing says "I'm a crook" quite so eloquently as thumbing you nose at accepted standards..... FWIW, I work on "toy" cars.... anything goes... the sky is the limit.... I carry signed cheques from classic car owners "just in case". These cars are run maybe 15 ~ 40 hours PER YEAR. Daily drivers? Zero tolerance.

Yup, yet another TSB telling us not to use the TSB. Don't forget to quote that you followed TSB 9-12-2 when performing your repair.

Jeez Aaron... how long do you figure that will fly before you spend three days getting prior approval? Just a passing thought.... a lot of techs get real righteous about customers hiding the use of tuners... fuckin' fraudulent bastuhds.... Thankfully none of us would ever stoop to fraud...... On a lighter note, that fucking fraudulent SELLC recently sent me some automated looking form letter asking why I haven't visited his website lately? We all remember him, right? The guy selling stuff people didn't need? Muck fe!!!!

I see a lot of people focussing on auto assemblers... focussing on manufacturing positions... focussing on sundry other sub sections of the automotive industry.... !!! DUH !!! How many dealerships are closing? How many "techs" are being turned out into the wild? How many of these guys are willing to work for peanuts? How many are better than "me".... Let us, for one very brief instant, forget about all of those people that have nothing to do with the auto repair industry. Let us try to resist the urge to place "put tab A in slot B" on the same plane as "Use your God given common sense to figure out how the put tab A in slot B guy fucked up" guys like us.... We DON'T work for Ford OR GM OR Chrysler..... What happens to them WILL affect us... But, if you are waiting to see how that will be on the news, it will be far too late. You don't have a collective agreement with Ford. I don't, Keith don't ... hardly nobody don't... And everyone appears to be so focussed on assembly line workers that they are about to let their lives flash by them . Even as we speak, thousands of mechanics are about to start looking for your job.... And, for some part. they will accept what is being offered.... even if it is starvation wages. Wake up guys... the coffee is perkin'

John Hawkins is going to be easy to dismember... 1.) We're descended from pioneer stock. Our ancestors explored, conquered, and tamed a continent. No... very few are descended from Johns "pioneer stock". Lewis and Clark - La Verandrye - (and others) The pioneers were the few and somewhat famous... Most of the rest of us were the whimpy bastards that infiltrated the newly civilized regions... slowly and inexoribly, the more we came the weeker and more self serving we were... no balls to be pioneers but brave enough to pretend that we are "from pioneer stock". While lack of personal responsibility is a profound modern day problem - it isn't a US only problem... being "of pioneer stock" is no sure thing in terms of a cure or a vaccine. One of the character flaws destroying America (and Canada and other places) are pompous assholes pretending they are above the rest of us even though their feet are mired in the very same clay ours are mired in. John Hawkins is dealing in self-serving misinformation. I get the feeling that, if his desk accidentally ventured outside of his little comfort zone, he might be at the lead of that nation of whining babies. John Hawkins and his ilk.... those sensationalistic bastard media queens - each trying to out sensationalise his/her neighbour.. are a very big part of what has driven us to be irresponsible. We could go on.... but I have to take my irresponsible ass outside and do stuff....

I'll stick with "smart" and throw in a couple of dashes of sly and crafty... underhanded is a given... These guys might outsmart themselves... maybe their adversaries might outsmart them.... Union leaders are smart enough to have hundreds of thousands.... even millions.... of union members ready to do some real dumbfuck stuff for them.... Crazy - yes... stupid - no...

One needs to research the history of trade unions to gain a full appreciation for their pros and their cons.... and let's not forget a little sidebar to visit a very colourful man... Jimmy Hoffa of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters.. they never did find him (or his remains). Back during the Industrial Revolution, it became apparent the workers needed some kind of protection. Children were sold into labour, much like slaves. Workers became emboldened and, slowly, the labour climate began to improve... Henry Ford started up and,in 1914, he was already paying an unheard of $5 per day for an 8 hour a day, 5 day work week. Still, it wasn't until the 1930s when the UAW was founded under the wing of the American Federation of Labour. I don't think that it is any secret that Ford Motor Company reacted badly to initial attempts in the late 30s for the UAW to try to organize Fords employees. It didn't take long for unions to become self serving... union leaders could justify exhorbitant pay packages by bullying the manufacturers into exhorbitant wage agreements... Hey, if the managers can rape the company, why can't the workers? I mean, shit... all any of us ever wanted is better wages.... Some don't mind if they can't justify the better wages... The history of most trade unions is peppered with incidence and tactic that are less than salient and some border on outright criminal activity. And a lot of it makes for good reading....

Many years ago,Canada (specifically, the Canadian government) saw what was happening with the movement to unionize in the US. In an attempt to reduce union influence, the government enacted labour laws to cover most aspects of employer/employee relationships... including work hours, when and how overtime was due, holidays and, as time progressed, pregnancy,illness, I know I'll miss much. I can see where the government can force the unions to renegotiate into accepting modified terms.... "You will comply or we wont help at all" seems to be working. Before I am accused of throwing people under the bus, when my small business needed some help and understanding, they sent out a tax auditor (she brought her own bus to throw me under). Companies that are run in a shitty manner deserve to die... plain and simple. True for me - true for GM. FIAT is going to have to honor any and all current agreements with Chrysler... to unilaterally alter any agreements would be an agregious breach of trust. However, there isn't anything to say that any plant(s) could be permanently closed... but any termination agreements would take effect. And a new plant "owned" by a "subsidiary" may be able to open down the street with no requirement to rehire. Of course, I am sure that any smart union reps and/or business management team would have considered most avenues available.